STE: Twelve Days 2
by ZenosParadox
Summary: RS, Tu. Reed and Sato have a nursery rhyme experience with 4 calling birds, 5 gold rings & 6 geese alaying. 3 of 3 chapters 2nd of 4 episodes.
1. Four Calling Birds

Title: Twelve Days 2  
  
Author: ZenosParadox  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: RS, Tu. Reed and Sato have a nursery rhyme experience with 4 calling birds, 5 golden rings and 6 geese a-laying. 3 of 3 chapters, 2nd of four episodes. WARNING: Even more puns ahead.  
  
Disclaimer: The Enterprise characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.  
  
TWELVE DAYS 2  
  
FOUR CALLING BIRDS   
  
December 29  
  
Ensign Hoshi Sato rolled her shoulders while she sat at her station at the bridge. She closed her eyes for a moment and could feel his hands on her shoulders again. She had spent the night dreaming about decon and having her shoulders rubbed--among other things. Mmm.  
  
"What was that, Ensign?" asked Captain Archer.  
  
Sato blushed as she realized she must have moaned aloud. "Mm, breakfast was just delicious, don't you think? Waffles, yummy!"  
  
Sato glanced back at the Captain's chair and was relieved that he seemed to accept the lame excuse. She then caught an odd expression on the face of Lieutenant Malcolm Reed from his station at tactical and couldn't prevent the suspicious glance she threw at him.   
  
Reed noticed Sato's look and began to frown as he tried to remember what he possibly could have done wrong. Something in decon, perhaps? That was it; Hoshi was probably regretting he had ever touched her. Malcolm swallowed his disappointment and quickly looked down.  
  
At that moment Sato wondered if Reed was thinking of decon, too? Her musings were interrupted when T'Pol called their attention to the screen.  
  
"Sir, the vessel on our view screen is sending a distress call," came the voice of the Science Officer. Reed immediately chimed in with, "No weapons, it appears to be a small private craft, sir."  
  
  
  
"Lieutenant Reed, use the grappler and bring it in. Take a security team to the launch bay. Hoshi, why don't you go with Malcolm in case the UT starts acting up again?" Archer then called engineering to say, "Commander Tucker, be prepared to head to the launch bay once it's cleared by security. It looks like we have another vessel that needs a fix-it man."  
  
-----  
  
Reed and Sato left the bridge to head to the launch bay. Reed released a heavy sigh before he said, "I just hope we don't have more poultry to deal with."  
  
Sato offered him a sympathetic look. "Still recovering from smell of chicken excrement?"  
  
Reed flashed his characteristic half-smile, "Actually, I was dreading another encounter with Ensign Partridge. Even another go at the chickens is preferable to his company."  
  
Sato grinned and laughed softly. Reed enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment in being able to make her smile. It was just unfortunate that laughter was the only feeling he could evoke from her.   
  
Reed and Sato entered the alien vessel while the security detail waited outside. Sitting on the floor all tangled in wires was an alien that was obviously from an avian species. The head was smooth and white with a black stripe running down the back and two black bars extending into the face like points of arrows. The top bar encompassed the black eyes and the other fell along the chin line. The yellow-orange mouth was narrow and Sato had to make several adjustments before the message was decoded.  
  
"Does that look like a Christmas goose to you?" whispered Reed to Sato.   
  
"A very BIG one, in fact," responded Sato. She was making adjustments to the UT while the avian muttered.  
  
The officers soon heard a rather lisping voice. "O, thith ith wonderfful! P-pardon my enthuthiathm. I need athithtanthe!"  
  
"Athithtanthe?" repeated Reed. He hated it when the UT burped like this. "Could you get the UT to cut out the lisp?"  
  
Sato shrugged. The UT could translate languages, but speech impediments were a different matter.  
  
Reed spoke to the alien, "You're in the launch bay of the thtar--starship Enterprise. My name is Reed. Could you please rephrase your earlier statement?"  
  
"Thertainly; I need help. My name is Indicus. My preciouth and her thisters were on a transport ship visiting their mother, but there was a malfunction." Indicus now looked down sadly, but at least the UT was eliminating most of the lisp. "The ship went down in the solar sythtem you are approaching, but I can't be sure which planet. If I don't get to preciouth in time, I'll--I'll..."  
  
At this point there was a hiss and loud honk from the proboscis, as Indicus could no longer contain his sorrow. His arms flapped at his side as he honked again loudly. "I am so sorry, but as you can thee, my little vethel lacks many resources. I MUST find my preciouth or--or--it's a matter of life and death."  
  
Reed was somewhat suspicious, but Indicus looked so harmless. Reed glanced over at Sato and saw she already had that sympathetic expression about her. She moved closer to Indicus and gave him a warm smile.  
  
Indicus flapped his arms in delight when he saw Sato. "Ah, a female of your species? How wonderful! Such beautiful eyeth!"  
  
Indicus had drawn near Sato as she blushed at his compliment and reached out to touch her hair. His own eyes were almond shaped as well. "Pity they're not feathers. You must be blethed indeed to have your females with you."  
  
Reed's eyes narrowed at the attention Indicus was paying to Sato, but merely said, "This is Ensign Hoshi Sato, Indicus, but the women of the crew are not our mates; they're colleagues. Uh, we work together."  
  
"Oh? How strange! Well, perhapth that will change and you will find your mate here." Indicus patted Sato reassuringly on the back, then noticed Reed's intense gaze. Indicus merely cocked his head to one side and bobbed his head up and down. Yes, he was certain this young one would find her mate.  
  
"Why don't you speak with our Captain? I'm sure he'll want to help you," assured Sato. The Ensign notified the bridge that all was clear. In the meantime, Reed and Sato untangled Indicus from the wires. Soon Captain Archer and Commander Tucker were at the launch bay.   
  
"Welcome aboard, Indicus. I'm Captain Archer. Now, tell me about this party you're trying to rescue..."  
  
Captain Archer walked along side the waddling Indicus as they made their way to the bridge. Tucker shook his head. Now he'd seen everything! He turned to his friends saying, "Does that alien look like a--"  
  
"Yes," said Reed and Sato in synchrony. They suddenly exchanged a quick glance and the barest of nods. Time for some payback to the Commander. It was his fault they had wound up in decon together yesterday.  
  
Tucker shrugged, but as he turned around, he felt the pinch on his bottom. He turned immediately to confront the culprit, but all he saw were Reed and Sato walking away in perfect step. Please, please, let it be Hoshi, thought Tucker. At that very moment, Reed turned his head for a backward glance and winked at the Commander. Tucker's groan could be heard as the officers retreated.   
  
"Well done, Ensign," said Reed quietly to his companion.  
  
"Goosing men is just one of my many talents, Lieutenant," responded Sato with a flash of her eyebrows. Reed told himself to quit imagining where her other talents lay.  
  
-----  
  
Archer proceeded to introduce the officers at the bridge stations to Indicus as Reed and Sato took their stations. The formalities were soon dispensed as Archer got down to business. "Now, which planet should we begin searching first? I'm sure our scanner will be able to detect the life forms you're looking for."   
  
"I thought to begin with the furthest planet and work my way in until I found the distreth beacon. Our life forms are often difficult to dithtinguish from indiginous spethies." Indicus turned to the Captain. "Where should I take up my position, Captain? I don't want to get in your way."  
  
"Why don't you take the seat near Lieutenant Reed?" Archer indicated the tactical station with a wave of his arm and Indicus waddled over. Reed held a tight smile on his face. Perfect, just perfect. Having a Christmas goose looking over his shoulder at the tactical station was just why he'd joined Starfleet. Perfect.   
  
"The frequency you specified has not been detected; however, we should do a slow orbit around each planet to be certain." This suggestion came from the science station. T'Pol sounded just a bit miffed. Unlike other species they had encountered, Indicus exhibited no interest in the Vulcan.  
  
"Very well. Travis, proceed with orbit until scans are complete." Archer settled back in his chair while Indicus settled into the chair beside Reed.  
  
-----  
  
Unlike a certain ensign that Reed would rather forget, Indicus knew how to be quiet. He would respond to Archer's queries, but appeared to be content to hum softly to himself and look at Sato from where he sat. Rather than find his presence irritating, the Tactical Officer found the alien a comfortable companion. The fact that Sato absorbed Indicus' attention meant that Reed could also find excuses to look at her. The next few hours passed quite pleasantly, but the first two planets failed to have any sign of the beacon.   
  
The big surprise of the day came as they moved toward the third planet. Four Klingon scouters suddenly came into view as their ships whipped around the planet as if they were in a race. Archer could feel Reed tense, then heard the claxon sounding as Reed's quiet voice said, "Captain, tactical alert has been initiated."  
  
"Incoming calls from the Klingon Raptors, Captain," said Sato from her station. She seemed to hesitate, then continued, "Sir, they're all trying to relay their messages at once. . . Wait. I think I can patch through and split the screen. Lieutenant, I'll need to move to your station."  
  
Reed sat up and stepped aside as Sato punched in some quick commands. She managed to overlay the comm lines with the visuals used to inspect the phase cannons and hull plating.  
  
The Klingon Captains immediately appeared on screen with each one occupying a quadrant. The Klingon on the upper right appeared to suddenly pull himself out of a doze. The one below him had a tic that kept shutting his left eye. His colleague to his right had a problem with both eyes closing while above him the last Klingon continually bobbed his head. This was the quirkiest set of Klingons the Enterprise had ever encountered.  
  
The Captains of the Raptros began to speak again, but the interruptions thankfully went in clockwise order. "I am Snuz. Prepare to be de--!"  
  
"Back off, Snuz, you old geezer. This is my kill. Prepare to be destroyed by Winq'm. You have--"  
  
"No one is taking this kill from Blinq'm! Now go--"   
  
At this point Reed whispered to Sato, "Just a guess, but I bet the last Captain is named Nod."  
  
The last Klingon Captain transmitted as the other three were arguing among themselves, "You will be destroyed by Nahd! Prepare to die!"   
  
Only the danger of the situation allowed Sato and Reed to contain their mirth, but Sato couldn't keep from whispering to Reed, "Think our goose is cooked?"   
  
Without missing a beat, Reed responded with, "That's cruel punishment, Ensign." He was expecting the swat on the arm he received. "If only there were some way to get the Captains to quit bickering and pay attention."  
  
"#######," Ensign Sato emitted a loud expletive in Klingon that got all of the Captains' attention. Sato turned sweetly to Captain Archer and said, "I think they'll listen now."  
  
Sato saw Reed flash her that I'm-impressed look. She merely arched a delicate brow and gave her attention back to the situation. She loved getting those looks from Reed. Perhaps her next rubdown was just hours away?  
  
"I am Jonathan Archer from the starship Enterprise. Perhaps you've heard of us?" Archer crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't seen Klingons shrugging before. The crew waited for more of a response from the Klingon Captains. Silence. One Captain did yawn; perhaps it was Snuz?   
  
"We returned Klaang to your homeworld and we helped the Klingon Raptor caught in the gas giant?" Archer added this hoping it would prod their memory. Suddenly, the Captains began to speak.  
  
"Let's just all blow the ship up"   
  
"And have you accidentally hit us, Winq'm?"  
  
"Like you did to Snuz last time, Blinq'm?"  
  
"No one takes a victory away from Nahd!"  
  
Indicus suddenly stood up, waddled over to Captain Archer and hissed. His robe slid off his body and he extended his arms to fully reveal an impressive wingspan. "NO! Hold your fire!"  
  
"You carry Ansers!" exclaimed the Klingon Captains in synchrony. They all bowed respectfully and Snuz offered, "Give us your blessing, Wise Anser, and we will withdraw."   
  
Indicus did not seem surprised at the way the Klingons backed down. Instead he kept his wings outspread and turned his beak upward. "The blessings of the stars be upon you. You shall own the sky. Freedom of flight be yours. Now, you must complete the ancient ritual."  
  
The four Captains immediately assumed identical positions. They first brought their hands in front of them into a pincer position, opening and closing their thumb against their fingers slowly four times. Next they brought their hands onto their shoulders and moved their arms up and down four times.   
  
Sato again whispered to Reed, "Is that the..."  
  
Reed was nodding, "Chicken dance."  
  
Sure enough, the Klingon Captains next swung their hips four times and completed the ritual with four claps of their hands. Sato cast an incredulous look at Reed. Archer was staring open mouthed at the display and blinking rapidly. Only the Vulcan was expressionless as the ritual was completed, although her head was cocked to one side.  
  
Indicus merely bobbed his head once to each Captain and said, "Well done. Fly free."  
  
The four Klingon Raptors moved off. A collective sigh could be heard throughout the bridge.  
  
"That's one hell of a goose!" observed Sato.  
  
"More like a thunderbird," replied Reed. He saw the question on Sato's face. "Native American folklore, the Thunderbird."   
  
Sato nodded and as she rose to regain her comm station, said, "In Japanese it's called a raicho."   
  
T'Pol looked around at the humans and could sense their humor, but not its source. She caught Archer's eye, and he mouthed Later to her.   
  
"The Klingon ships are maintaining their course away from us, sir," Reed said as he again took up his station. They watched the ships speed away.  
  
"Why did the Klingons back down, Indicus?" asked Archer. He was still having trouble believing a harmless individual such as Indicus could chase off four Klingon Captains, even granted that they were probably facing the dregs of the Klingon fleet.  
  
"They use our image for their warships, Captain. Ansers hold a place in Klingon mythology. To harm uth would be to bring great misfortune to their ship." Indicus had retrieved his robe and settled it back on his shoulders. The Anser was humming to himself again and appeared to be smiling between Reed and Sato.  
  
-----  
  
Although the search left them empty handed, Indicus seemed to maintain his happy spirits and the belief that the Enterprise would be able to help him find his preciouth. He waddled off to join Archer in the Captain's mess while the rest of the bridge crew dispersed.  
  
After dinner Sato approached the gym. Reed had successfully avoided her during the meal by running off to check things in the armory. She shook her head as she considered what she wanted from him. If only he would be more open about his feelings. Instead he would be very professional then become flustered when they ventured into personal territory. She rolled her shoulders and pouted a bit. No rubdown tonight.  
  
Her mood was uplifted as soon as she stepped into the gym. Reed was in the gravity running wheel, and bless his heart, he was wearing shorts and a nice, body hugging t-shirt for his work out. The man wasn't tall, but the muscles on his legs and thighs were well proportioned. Furthermore, she currently had a nice view of his backside as his body was turned upside down and away from her at the moment. Sato sighed in contentment and immediately pulled down the zipper of her jacket to shrug out of the garment.   
  
Reed heard the zipping sound and immediately turned to see who had entered, but was still upside down. His eyes fell upon a very familiar naval and tummy. He scanned upward to find Sato smiling at him and immediately brought himself upright in the running wheel.   
  
"Sorry, did I distract you?" asked Sato with that innocent look on her face. Oh, yes, she had had a very nice view.  
  
Reed looked away as he shook his head. If only she knew what a distraction she had become to him. "I was just finishing up, Ensign. It's been a long day and rather fruitless."  
  
"Do you think we'll have any luck tomorrow helping Indicus?" asked Sato as Reed stepped out of the running wheel and toweled off.   
  
"I certainly hope so. I still find it hard to believe that his presence was sufficient to send four Klingon raptors on their way." Reed stole another covert glance at Sato. He was beginning to think he was more of a Belly Button Man than a Bum Man. If only she'd kept her jacket on!   
  
"Imagine how scared I was. Calls coming in from all four... Malcolm, you still think it's just coincidence?" Hoshi looked perturbed, but she didn't have to explain it.  
  
"Four calling birds, you mean?" Malcolm gave a quick shake of his head. "Coincidence. Besides, they're warships, not real birds with feathers."  
  
"Want to make a bet we meet some variation of five gold rings tomorrow?" asked Sato with a quirk of her eyebrow.  
  
Reed enjoyed a challenge. What harm could come from making a bet with the Ensign? "Very well. I say we don't meet with any more symbols from the Twelve Days of Christmas. I'm quite tired of fowl, by the way. What's the prize for winning the bet?"  
  
Sato leaned into Reed. He could feel her hair brushing against his face as she whispered in his ear, "A shoulder rub."  
  
A shoulder rub? Did that mean she didn't mind him touching her? No, he was not going to misread Ensign Hoshi Sato again; she just wanted some cheap physical therapy. "Done."  
  
-----  
  
That night, Malcolm had a disturbing dream. Hoshi kept saying she needed her shoulders rubbed again, but he couldn't get to her because four Klingon Captains kept doing the chicken dance and getting in his way. Malcolm woke up in a foul mood.  
  
***** 


	2. Five Golden Rings

FIVE GOLDEN RINGS  
  
December 30  
  
Early the next morning, the bridge officers were at their stations with Indicus again sitting near Reed. The alien was humming brightly and everyone responded to his light spirits. Even T'Pol appeared to be a bit relaxed. "We are approaching the last planet. While the surface would not be conducive to life, the moons just outside of the fifth ring around the planet may be our best bet."  
  
"Begin the scans, T'Pol," said Archer as he settled into his chair.  
  
"Fifth ring? Sub-commander, how many rings does the last planet have?" asked Sato. Rather than looking at the Vulcan Science Officer, Sato turned an expectant look to Reed at the tactical station.   
  
"There are seven rings around the planet," answered T'Pol as she sent a close-up to the view screen. There were seven concentric rings at the planets equator that appeared to glitter with a golden cast.   
  
Sato pouted while Reed had a rather smug smile on his face, until he really considered the consequences. Wait, if he lost this bet that meant he wouldn't get another chance to touch Hoshi... No, it still felt good to win a bet, didn't it? His foul mood deepened.  
  
-----  
  
Lunchtime came without any success in locating the beacon. In the mess hall, Reed looked at the selection of entrees and sighed: chicken Parmesan, chicken schnitzel and chicken patties with gravy. He heard Sato's voice in his ear asking, "Can't make up your mind?"  
  
"Can't tell the difference among the lot of them," admitted Reed as he settled instead for a salad and a bowl of soup. As soon as he spooned the broth into his bowl he grimaced. Of course, chicken noodle soup.  
  
"I'll have the same," assured Sato as she completed the selections on her tray. "Join me, Lieutenant?"  
  
Reed hesitated for a moment. He heard Ensign Partridge's voice nearby and decided he needed a decoy at the very least. "Certainly, Ensign."  
  
Sato took a dainty sip of her soup. Reed also tasted his, but sighed. Too salty. He pushed the soup aside and attacked the salad while they spoke of their scans of the planets and their guest. "Indicus said that his species, the Ansers, first encountered Klingons a thousand years ago. Apparently Ansers were visiting the Klingon homeworld as they eradicated an insectoid species."  
  
"Indicus seems so harmless. The lisp that the UT picks up is from his own speech pattern. That's why so many of them get through," Sato explained.   
  
"Poor chap. He's looking for what would be the equivalent of his wife and her sisters. Apparently their mother was sick and they went to visit her. Indicus said that Ansers mate for life."  
  
"Well, I think it's sweet that he's so concerned for her. Males should be faithful and steadfast," asserted Sato.   
  
"If we can detect the beacon, there's a good chance he'll soon be with his wife. Trip's finished the repairs to his ship. Apparently Indicus had crossed some wires, the silly goose. Uh, sorry, that just slipped out. Bad habit."  
  
"Habit? You don't usually go around making puns," responded Sato.  
  
Reed got a bit defensive. "It's all Madeline's fault. When we'd see each other during holiday breaks, my dear sister would start this contest on who could come up with the most puns. Stop laughing; it would deteriorate into these horrible--ugh, it makes me shiver just to think of them."  
  
Hoshi smiled as she appreciated this little personal tidbit that Malcolm had revealed. They continued their observations of their guest, but Sato soon brought the topic back to their bet.   
  
"So, do I get credit for the planet having at least five rings?" asked Sato. This was an important question. If Reed gave her credit, then he had obviously gotten her hint about wanting to see him outside of duty hours.  
  
"Oh no, you don't. It has to be exactly FIVE rings," insisted Reed.  
  
Sato sighed. The man was a brick, but bricks were meant to be laid...in a foundation to build a strong relationship, she told herself. She just had to adjust her strategy. "The day's not over yet, but if you want me to concede, I'll surrender and give you a shoulder rub."  
  
Reed tasted his soup again. He had not considered what he would gain if he won the bet. Wait. There was no way he could lose in this bet. He must be missing something, but he still said, "Alright then. When and where?"  
  
"No time like the present, Lieutenant. Eat up. We should have about fifteen minutes before we're due back on the bridge. Enough time for a quickie."  
  
Reed started coughing when he was unable to swallow. Sato was soon pounding his back. "Problem, Lieutenant?"  
  
"Soup's too salty," Reed managed to croak out.  
  
"That's what you always say," responded Sato as she began to rub slow circles on his back. It felt incredibly pleasant. He could smell her hair as she leaned into him. "All better now?"  
  
Reed could only nod. He took a sip of water and Sato noted his hand was just a bit shaky. "Good. Let's get to it then."  
  
"Wha--" Reed moved as Sato grabbed his forearm and dragged him out of the mess hall. From a corner table, Commander Trip Tucker and Ensign Travis Mayweather were chuckling over the exchange they had observed between Reed and Sato. But before they could make their own bet over what would transpire between the couple, T'Pol's voice came over the comm line.  
  
"All bridge officers report to your stations."  
  
-----   
  
"Hoshi, we need to see what you can do to clean up the signal. Malcolm, help her triangulate." Archer sat anxiously at his chair and Indicus was at his side with his head lightly bobbing.  
  
Reed and Sato performed their familiar routine, communicating their sequence of commands with a quick word or even just a glance. Sato soon exclaimed, "There it is! Sir, I've located the frequency. It's coming from the third moon."   
  
"Captain, the beacon's signal is intermittent, but an away team should be able to stabilize the signal and rescue the party." T'Pol's voice was calm as she conveyed the information.  
  
"I should take my vethel down to the moon. I have the nethting that my preciouth will need in it."  
  
"Very well, but I'll feel better if we send some help with you. Malcolm, you go with him. I'll send Dr. Phlox to meet you at the shuttle bay."  
  
-----  
  
The team stepped out of the vessel that Indicus had piloted to the moon. Reed walked forward with the scanner. "The beacon is within range. Indicus, I believe your party is down below."  
  
The team stepped to the edge of the ravine near their landing site. Indicus again dropped his robe and spread out his wings. He pushed himself off of the ledge and did a beautiful glide down to the floor of the ravine. The white of his wings glistened in the sunlight and they could hear his call.   
  
"I haven't seen anything so beautiful!" said Phlox in a voice of disbelief. He stood near Reed as they watched Indicus approach the flock of Ansers. He went immediately to one who had a beautiful banding pattern on her face with delicate bars rather than the thicker ones of Indicus. The two Ansers twined their necks around each other.   
  
After a few more honking calls, the Ansers all took flight to get to the ledge where the humans waited. Indicus immediately introduced his companion. "This is Matha, my preciouth wife. But we must hurry. All of her sisters are about to netht and need to feel safe."  
  
Dr. Phlox completed his scans and explained to Reed. "The Ansers carry their young in their bodies much as mammals do, but prior to birth, a coating is exuded by the fetus that forms the hard shell of an egg. The mothers must lay their eggs, and then they help the offspring break out of their shell. How long will the process take, Indicus?"  
  
"Once the egg is laid, it is just a matter of hours. I carried the nethting material with me. We are ready," said Indicus.  
  
-----  
  
The vessel was soon in the Enterprise launch bay. Sato arrived at the request of Indicus who wanted her to meet the other Ansers. As Sato approached, Reed said quietly to her, "Guess what his wife's name is?"  
  
Sato could only shake her head, then Reed continued. "Matha."  
  
Sato closed her eyes before saying, "You mean we've just picked up..."  
  
"Mother Goose. Don't tell Trip," suggested Reed. Sato nodded then climbed into the vessel and introduced herself to Matha and her sisters.   
  
After he introduced Sato, Indicus stepped out of the vessel and turned to Reed with a box in his grasp. "Please accept thith as a token of my gratitude."  
  
"Indicus, I was just doing my job. There's no need for this," said Reed as he pushed the box back while trying not to appear rude.  
  
"It ith important to me; I think you will find it useful," said Indicus. "You would not want me to feel offended, would you?"  
  
Reed smiled indulgently. He opened the box since Indicus appeared to expect it. The box was covered in a material resembling blue velvet and nestled inside was a golden chain with, yes, five links. Reed quickly snapped it shut and looked over his shoulder to the Anser's vessel.   
  
Sato was just stepping out of vehicle. The guilty look on Reed's face made her curious. "Indicus, Doctor Phlox says that Matha and the rest are settled. You can go in now."  
  
As soon as Indicus left, Sato nudged Reed. "Malcolm, is there something in that box you should show me?"  
  
"Uh, well, it's not, actually, it's... Oh, never mind. You won your bet. Here," Reed opened the box. Sato counted slowly. "One, two, three, four, five...Yeah, I think that covers it. Looks like you owe me a shoulder rub, Lieutenant."  
  
As she led the defeated Armory Officer to her lair, Sato added, "And it doesn't even have to be a quickie."  
  
She just loved how he blushed. Reed stammered, "I better put these away first."  
  
"Fine, you can pay up while we're in your cabin," said Hoshi. Malcolm didn't like the sound of that, but when they got to his cabin, Hoshi sat on the small couch. She unzipped her uniform as Malcolm's mouth suddenly went dry, but Hoshi merely shrugged out of the sleeves of the jumper.  
  
  
  
"I'd be more comfortable in a t-shirt. Would you mind?" she asked. Malcolm looked at Hoshi for a moment, then she repeated slowly, "A. T. Shirt."  
  
"Uh, yes, right," said Malcolm and automatically pulled out the garment and handed it to her. Hoshi looked at him expectantly, and then motioned for him to turn around with her hand.   
  
"Yes, right," said Malcolm as he turned then cleared his throat.  
  
Malcolm could hear Hoshi pulling off the long-sleeved undershirt of her uniform. That was followed by a snap--or rather an unsnapping! His eyes grew wide and he was grateful he had turned around. She was putting on the t-shirt, wasn't she?  
  
"Okay, you can get to work now," said Hoshi as she grabbed Malcolm's hand. "Start about here."  
  
Yes, the t-shirt was in place, but the soft cotton was all that was between his hands and her skin. It didn't help that the massage was punctuated by these delicious sounding moans from the linguist. Malcolm was so distracted by these intimate little sounds that he didn't register when the shoulder rub became a back rub. "Uh, sorry, I think we're all done."  
  
"Here, let me return the favor. A back rub wasn't part of the bet." Hoshi quickly unzipped the top of Malcolm's uniform and shoved it off his shoulders. Hoshi completely ignored his muffled protests as she unbuttoned his undershirt and pulled it off. To her disappointment Malcolm was wearing a t-shirt under his uniform.   
  
"Don't worry, you're in good hands," said Hoshi as she began to work. From brick to putty in ten seconds. His head was soon rolling quite loosely on his neck. Why hadn't she noticed before the advantage that his short hair gave for someone wanting to nibble on his neck? She could see the goose bumps rise on his skin as she spoke softly into his ear.   
  
"You know, we ought to do this more often." Hoshi wondered if Malcolm would take the hint.  
  
"No, no more bets."   
  
The man was definitely a brick. Sato was about to give Reed a dope slap, then thought better of it. Some things were worth waiting for; Malcolm Reed was one of them.  
  
The Ensign had left before the Lieutenant realized she'd gotten away with another one of his t-shirts. Reed looked at the picture of the Enterprise officers that Sato had given him and noticed again how in this particular one they were standing by each other. He thought of the gold chain and now knew what he would make as a present for Hoshi. He moved to the picture and touched her face in the photo quite tenderly and a bit sadly. Time for that cold shower.  
  
-----  
  
  
  
That night Malcolm dreamed he was climbing a ladder made of gold links that wound endlessly upward. He knew if he reached the top he would find Hoshi. He could see her leaning out and calling to him, but the chain just kept getting longer.   
  
***** 


	3. Six Geese A Laying

SIX GEESE A-LAYING  
  
December 31  
  
Lieutenant Reed was not amused. It was midmorning and already all sorts of bizarre events had occurred.   
  
"You don't look very happy, Lieutenant," observed Sato when Reed stood up to stretch his legs. The Captain was in his ready room conferring with T'Pol. To Sato's surprise, Reed walked to her station and leaned against the console.  
  
"I think I'm losing my mind. I mean, Mother Goose comes on board and the next thing I know I'm living out my own version of nursery rhymes."  
  
"I thought I was bad with the Twelve Days of Christmas," said Sato, but gave her full attention to Reed. "Why don't you tell me why you think you've stepped into lala-land?"  
  
"First there was the problem with the pancakes at breakfast. Even a centimeter of peanut butter couldn't hide the bad flavor."  
  
Sato was aghast. "Chef never cooks anything bad!"  
  
"I know. Chef blamed it on the bitter butter that Ensign Botter put in the batter."  
  
"I see." Sato's eyes had dilated a bit. A man who could peel off a tongue twister like that had linguistic talent that needed further exploration. She shook off her thoughts and tried to be reassuring, "Just coincidence, remember?"  
  
"How about this one. While I was pointing out the bad pancakes to Chef, he was complaining to me about that contrary Mary Little from hydroponics who wasn't growing the herbs he wanted but instead was growing pretty little flowers."  
  
"I know Mary. So she's being contrary?"  
  
"Quite, according to Chef. Finally, there were the hysterics of Ensign Moffet. She had been eating cottage cheese for breakfast because the pancakes were so bad when she got scared by a spider. Really, I'm an Armory Officer, not a pest control man! Besides, I don't like getting near spiders. Anyway, it was one of Phlox's arachnids that had gotten loose."  
  
"But her name is Moffet, not Muffet. The girl in the nursery rhyme sat on her tuffet, remember?" reminded Sato. Reed nodded. Yes, she did have a point. Sato continued, "Listen, I'll talk to Mary about the herbs Chef wants. I need to visit hydroponics anyway."  
  
"You do that. I think I'll spend the day in the armory; at least it's quiet down there. Will you let me know how the Ansers are doing?"  
  
"Dr. Phlox just let me know that all six eggs have been laid."  
  
Reed nodded and turned to walk to the Captain's ready room to tell him where he would be. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day.   
  
Reed escaped to the armory and almost caressed the torpedoes as they sat in the bay. They were nice, inert, powerful weapons that could neither ruin your pancakes nor burst your eardrum with hysterical shrieks. He tapped his chest pocket and felt the weight of the gold chain. If he wanted to finish his gift to Hoshi by Epiphany, he needed to get to work.   
  
-----  
  
Reed's quiet day in the armory was soon lost when Commander Tucker's voice came over the comm. "Malcolm, we need some help in engineering. On the double."   
  
Reed met Tucker at the entrance to engineering. "What's the problem?"  
  
"Ensign Nimble had another fool idea 'bout re-routin' the relay that feeds the phase cannons."   
  
Tucker stopped to call into a service passageway, "Hey, Buford, Lieutenant Reed's here. Now don't be too quick to do anything in there until he gets a chance to review it," yelled Tucker.  
  
Then he turned to Reed and said, "I don't care if ya have to stun him, get him out of there. Nimble's already had to high-step it over some sparking wires he messed with."  
  
Reed crawled in after Nimble and greeted him with, "Hello, Ensign. Mind if I take a look?"  
  
"Here you are, sir. But please call me Jack; I hate my middle name of Buford," said the Ensign Nimble.   
  
Reed thought for a moment that Partridge had cloned himself, but shook off the thought. Really, he just needed to get more sleep! "Tell you what. I'm having some trouble reading these in this lighting. Let's go back out to have a look."  
  
With Jack B. Nimble extricated, Tucker was able to take the enthusiastic young man in hand. Reed waved slightly as he left. What could possibly happen next?  
  
He immediately heard Ensign Sato's voice calling, "Lieutenant Reed to hydroponics. We need you immediately."  
  
-----  
  
Reed was astonished to find Sato holding a weeping Ensign Mary Little when he entered hydroponics. "Ensign, you sent for me?"  
  
Sato saw Reed visibly cringe as Ensign Little wailed. She couldn't blame him; personally she wanted to smack the woman, but friendship got the better of her. Sato explained, "Roger Lamb is caught in the fertilizer tub. We need you to get him out."  
  
"What's Lamb doing in hydroponics? I thought his assignment was the galley?" Reed asked as he rolled up his sleeves. He could now hear the muffled sounds of a male voice calling from inside the two-meter tall drum.   
  
"Let's just say he's very attached to Mary, but they had a little disagreement and leave it at that, okay," said Sato. Really, how a lover's spat had resulted in the man neck deep in chicken litter was beyond even her imagination. She watched Reed climb the ladder and stand on the platform.   
  
Reed looked down to see Lamb with an awful grimace on his face. "Grab my hand and I'll pull you out."  
  
Luckily, Roger Lamb as no bigger than Reed. The Lieutenant pulled him out and Lamb was immediately tackled by the very woman who had shoved him into the vat. Reed and Sato both rolled their eyes as Mary Little hugged her Lamb and asked him to forgive her. They were cooing to each other when Reed ordered Lamb to sickbay.   
  
Sato and Reed walked out together. "I think I'll forego lunch to have some time to shower and change. My nose is so filled with the odor I don't think I could eat anyway. Do you want to tell me what that was all about?"  
  
Reed and Sato continued walking toward his quarters. Sato tried to explain her understanding of the misunderstanding. "Apparently Mary Little and Roger Lamb have a thing going, but Lamb was becoming too possessive her."  
  
"So she tries to smother him in bird poop? That's rather extreme, wouldn't you say?"  
  
"She didn't mean to dump him in. He followed her everywhere she walked in hydroponics and fell in when she turned with a tray. It was an accident."  
  
"Uh huh, and just what were they arguing about? Suffocating each other?"  
  
"No, Lamb was jealous of some guy named Peter that he'd been seeing hanging around hydroponics."  
  
"Ah, the old love triangle can always land you in deep--never mind. So was Mary literally trying to dump Lamb?"  
  
"Oh, no. Not at all. It turns out that Peter was just interested in when the pumpkins would be ready. He's very fond of pumpkins."  
  
Reed and Sato stopped suddenly and looked at each other. They simultaneously shook their heads and said, "NO."  
  
"By the way, how are the Ansers doing? Is Indicus a proud father yet?" asked Reed.  
  
"Not yet, but three of the Ansers have hatched. He's a very proud uncle at least." Sato smiled then realized they had reached his quarters. "I'll see you later, Lieutenant."  
  
-----   
  
"Lieutenant Reed, have you seen Johnson and Ballew? They were supposed to report to their station an hour ago."   
  
Sato's voice came over the comm link. Wonderful. He was never going to get his present for her started. He set aside his project. At least the interruption had come at a good breaking point.  
  
Reed soon reported the whereabouts of Johnson and Ballew. "This is Reed to the Bridge. I have located Johnson and Ballew in stellar cartography with an empty bottle of tequila lying between them. I'll have Phlox send a medical team to take care of them."  
  
Reed looked down at Johnson. He had one shoe off and one shoe on. Ballew had his face hidden by a stack of girlie magazines titled Hot, Available & Young. The man was obviously breathing, so Reed left the magazines untouched. Besides, the woman on the cover couldn't hold a candle to Hoshi Sato. He heard her voice on his communicator again.  
  
"By the way, Lieutenant, two more Ansers have hatched. The only one left is Matha."  
  
"Thanks, Hoshi. I'll try to drop by later to see Indicus." Reed began to worry about the Christmas Goose, as he referred to Indicus in his own mind. The avian had saved their lives and Reed fervently hoped he'd get the chance to see him become a father.  
  
-----  
  
Dinner? Who has time for dinner when you're caught in an unending series of nursery rhymes?  
  
"Lieutenant Reed, you're needed in Water Treatment immediately," came the voice of Hoshi Sato. The only pleasant thing about the summons was that Reed got to hear her voice. He sighed wearily before indicating he was on his way. What could possibly happen now?  
  
Reed met Tucker at the Wetlands, as they called them. "What's the problem, Trip?"  
  
"Aw, it's gonna sound stupid, but we had two Ensigns working on the pipe at that arch up there. You know the twins, Jack and Jill Hill? Jack Hill fell and pulled his sister Jill down with him."  
  
"Jack and Jill Hill?" asked Reed, expressing the words rather slowly. He was losing his mind; it was as simple as that.  
  
"Yeah, like I said, they're twins. Anyway, Doc's taking care of 'em. Jack's got a mean cut on his head, but he cushioned Jill's fall, so she's okay."  
  
"So, why do you need me?" asked Reed.  
  
"Well, when the Hills took their tumble, they unplugged the seal and the lower level is beginning to flood. Luckily the three men down there are on top of a vat that's keeping them fairly dry, but we need to pull 'em out. We don't have good audio, so Hoshi's trying to get a communicator we can toss down to 'em."  
  
Reed nodded. "Uh huh. And who are these gentlemen we have trapped down there?"  
  
Sato entered in time to hear Reed's question. She read off the list on her data PADD. "I've got the names. It's Candles, Butcher and--"  
  
"Don't tell me. Baker." Reed expelled a heavy sigh.  
  
Sato merely raised her eyebrow. But, really, the Lieutenant looked so cute when he was harassed with his hair slightly mussed, his sleeves rolled up and the buttons of the henley undone. "How did you guess?"  
  
"Just dumb luck. Very well, Commander, what would you like for me to do?" asked Reed. He was now looking down the grating. The water wasn't horribly deep, but he had to force himself to breathe as the old fear crept through.   
  
"I think we need some sorta winch where we can just send down a rope to bring 'em up."  
  
Reed nodded. The first order of business was to get the communicator down to the men. Reed did an expert toss and soon they had communication with Butcher, Baker and Candles. The ability to communicate made the job of retrieving the men easy since they could help verify the coordinates for the rope that was sent down. Soon the men were rescued and on their way to a late meal.  
  
Sato stood by Reed as they watched the men leave. "Nursery rhymes, hm?"  
  
"As the Commander would say, 'Yup.'"  
  
"Come on, let's get a bite to eat. Chef has set up a New Year's Eve buffet in the mess hall. Then you deserve a back rub for the day you've had," said Sato.  
  
Reed nodded his agreement, and then realized what she had said. Before he could dissect her statements further, Reed and Sato were called.  
  
"Lieutenant Reed and Ensign Sato. You are wanted in the launch bay immediately." T'Pol's voice had carried no urgency, but Reed and Sato immediately took off at the brisk pace. A call to the launch bay could only mean that Mother Goose was having trouble.  
  
-----  
  
Indicus was wringing his hands--wings, rather, in distress. He stood outside his vessel with Doctor Phlox. "Oh, I hate to ask thith of you, but she needs help. My poor little Matha needs help!"  
  
"What's wrong, Doctor?" asked Sato while Reed patted Indicus on the back and told him to breathe. Several honks could be heard in the background as Sato listened to the Doctor's explanation.  
  
"Matha is not doing well. Apparently this was a high-risk pregnancy for her and as soon as the egg was laid, her body temperature began to fall. I need to remove her from the nest so that she can be near Indicus who can help her regulate her body temperature. However, that would leave their egg exposed and it must be kept warm."  
  
"So, you just need to rig up some sort of incubator," said Reed.  
  
"It's not that simple, Lieutenant. The Ansers are very sensitive to biorhythms. I need to provide more than just temperature. Indicus had an idea of how to save his offspring, but it involves both of you cooperating."   
  
Phlox smiled widely now. Reed thought it might be meant to be reassuring, but it wasn't.  
  
Indicus added, "We trutht the two of you. Please help uth?"  
  
"What do we do?" asked Sato.   
  
Wonderful, thought Reed. Now it's WE, is it? Actually, that didn't sound so bad if Hoshi was involved. Reed tried to rein in his muddled thoughts to pay attention.  
  
"...So as soon as we remove Matha, you two can replace her."  
  
"I'm supposed to sit on an egg until it hatches?" asked Reed with a tone of disbelief. He was an Armory Officer! Why didn't anyone remember that?  
  
"Really, Lieutenant, you'd be lying on one side of the egg while Ensign Sato is on the other side. Indicus and Matha will be watching the entire time to make sure their offspring imprints on the proper set of parents." Phlox found the whole situation quite a challenge. He never considered he'd have to order the officers to cooperate.  
  
"Just look at him, Malcolm," said Sato as she pointed to Indicus. "I think he's actually losing feathers. We can't refuse."  
  
Reed looked at Indicus, but more importantly, he looked at Sato's pleading expression. Indicus was right; she did have very beautiful eyes. He merely nodded his consent.  
  
"Lieutenant, why don't you lie over here? Ensign, right here. Comfortable? I also recommend that both of you put one arm around the egg. That's perfect." Phlox looked at the two humans who now surrounded the egg. Reed and Sato could look into each other's eyes quite easily if they wanted, but both were avoiding looking at the other for the time being.  
  
"You don't know how much I appreciate thith," said Indicus as he covered Matha with his greater wingspan. Her appearance improved as soon as she had contact with her mate.  
  
Reed smiled slightly before saying, "It's my job to see to the safety of the Enterprise crew and her passengers. Although I must admit, hatching eggs was not in the job description."  
  
Reed caught Sato's smile. They had found they were most comfortable if they held to each other's arm around the egg. They settled in and were soon lulled to drowsiness by the soft humming Indicus used to soothe his mate.  
  
The day was almost over when the first peeping was heard from the egg. Reed and Sato watched in delight as the beak began to saw through the shell. Indicus had a bright smile on his face as he said, "You can move away from the egg now."  
  
Reed and Sato sat back as they watched the hatching continue with the parents tapping their beaks lightly against the shell while the hatchling continued his efforts. Soon the shell was broken through and the cap was pushed aside as a little Anser peeped for his parents.   
  
Sato and Reed watched the new family for a few moments. Hoshi felt Malcolm's hand on her shoulder and lightly patted it with her own hand. The sense of accomplishment was almost overwhelming.   
  
One hour later, they were saying good-bye to Indicus. "I must start back. The young ones are all safe now that they're out of the egg. Thank you for all of your help. I'd like to leave you with a blething."  
  
Reed hesitated a moment, "You don't expect us to do that ritual the Klingons did, do you?"  
  
Sato was already grinning at the image of the staid Tactical Officer doing the Chicken Dance. She saw his relief as Indicus said, "No, no. That's something the Klingonth developed on their own. Now, just stand right there together."  
  
Indicus then brought his wings and fanned them around Reed and Sato. He said something that even the UT couldn't translate, then nodded to indicate he was done. They watched him enter his vessel and the merry honking of the six geese who had laid their eggs today. The launch bay door opened and the vessel was released. The Ansers were finally going home.  
  
Malcolm and Hoshi walked away quietly. It was late, very late. Malcolm had not registered that he had been walking Hoshi to her cabin until he found them in front of her door. He finally turned to say good night when they heard the Captain's voice on the intercom.  
  
"Happy New Year's, everyone. It's now midnight!"  
  
Hoshi turned to Malcolm with a smile. "Traditions, Lieutenant. We have to uphold traditions."  
  
She brought one hand behind his neck to draw him toward her and felt his arms go around her waist. She leaned in expecting him to hold her stiffly, but as soon as her lips touched his, he brought her closer for an intimate embrace. He deepened the kiss, but then began pulling away.  
  
"I--I'm sorry, Hoshi. That was inappropriate. It won't happen again," stuttered Malcolm. He didn't look at her face; he'd probably see embarrassment there, or worse, revulsion.  
  
Hoshi grabbed his arm and gently said, "It's just a New Year's kiss, Malcolm. It's no more than we want to make of it."  
  
Malcolm nodded before he turned away. The walk to his quarters seemed extraordinarily long tonight. In her cabin, Hoshi pulled out one of Malcolm's t-shirts and smiled. She knew what she wanted to make of that kiss: a beginning.  
  
-----  
  
That night Malcolm dreamed he was caught in a nursery rhyme. Trip was playing a fiddle and looked like a golden tabby cat. In the meantime, Porthos was laughing as T'Pol, with several additional udders and a black and white hide, jumped over the prone figure of Captain Archer who was reclining comfortably in the sky. It was so ridiculous that Malcolm grabbed Hoshi's hand to make a getaway--and then realized he was a spoon while Hoshi was a very beautiful dish of the Blue Willow pattern. Reed woke up wishing nursery rhymes had never been invented!   
  
*****  
  
Author Notes:   
  
All puns are intended. Anser indicus is the genus and species of the goose described. 20 pages. Written December 16, 2002, and posted at LD.   
  
Thanks for reading. No reviews are necessary. Episode 3 will be posted in a few days. 


End file.
